"I remember visiting my grandfather. He used to be a boxer, until he was beat up for being a ladies man," says Astara Barker with a smile. "He always told me little stories like that."

Barker, age 19, says she misses her grandfather who now lives in another state. As a child growing up in Tennessee, she spent a lot of time with him and her three other grandparents. "I can remember [my grandparents] being in my life forever."

It's rare for children to be close to their grandparents in today's "mobile society," according to DJ McQuade-Lancaster, coordinator of the National Grandparent's Day organization. "Less value is placed on kinship ties," she says, which is one of the reasons her mother, Marian McQuade-Lancaster, founded the movement. The group uses Grandparent's Day – celebrated on the first Sunday after Labor Day – to call attention to the neglect of the elderly and foster inter-developmental relationships.

It's important for parents to recognize the value of these family ties, McQuade-Lancaster says. By playing an active role in their grandchildren's lives, grandparents can provide stability in the form of continued family traditions and unconditional love, both essential for early childhood development. Grandparents also can be kindred spirits for their grandchildren, sharing the same wonderment at the world. Even more importantly, says McQuade-Lancaster, grandparents act as role models and teach children family values – a subject often overlooked in school settings.

Barker's grandfather told her stories about the time he spent fighting abroad during World War II. Instead of presenting long-winded lectures or sermons, Barker's grandfather told a lively, exciting story, and through this simple contact, Barker gained in-depth knowledge of an important part of American history.

She also spent time with her grandmother. "I would help her with dinner and we would talk about anything – a movie or book or my day."

McQuade-Lancaster said it's easier for children to talk to grandparents than to confide in their parents, because children respect what the grandparent has experienced.

Barker stayed with her grandmother off and on, because she had more friends in her grandmother's neighborhood and the house was closer to her school. She says her relationship with her grandparents was " natural," but McQuade-Lancaster pointed out that for most children, grandma and grandpa are no longer over the river and through the woods.

Many families use the holidays as an excuse to visit with relatives. That's a good start, but it's not enough. "I suggest sitting down with the grandparents and making sure visitation happens at least once a month," says McQuade-Lancaster.

If your children haven't spent much time with their grandparents lately, use the holidays to get the family back on track. Worried that your children will be bored? McQuade-Lancaster suggests planning some special activities to keep everyone happy. Take advantage of special skills your parents may have: let them teach your children woodworking or embroidery, for example. And have your children return the favor and teach their grandparents how to send e-mail. Don't forget to show them how to open attachments so they can see all the lovely photographs you'll send them each week! Other ways your child and his grandparents can get to know each other:

• Write a story together. Grandma can write, and your budding Rembrandt can illustrate.
• Draw a family tree. Grandparents can fill in the murky details of twice-removed cousins. Use old family photos for leaves.
• Play everybody's favorite game: What was Mommy (or Daddy) like when s/he was my age?
• Spend some time in the kitchen. Those secret family recipes have to be handed down to the next generation!

If it's not practical for your child to visit his grandparents regularly – if they are separated by several states or an ocean, for example – you can still foster a strong relationship between them. Grandchild and grandparent can both keep journals and videotape greetings and mail them to each other once a month. Grandparents can send video or audio tapes of bedtime stories or send a package of seeds for the child to plant.

Teach your children to honor, love and cherish their grandparents. They'll thank you for it one day.