Incontinence can make you feel like a prisoner in your own home. But it doesn't have to be that way. There are many products designed today to enable people to participate in normal activities and reduce the potential for embarrassing accidents.

What is Incontinence?
Incontinence is a condition defined as the involuntary loss of urine sufficient in amount and frequency to be a hygienic or social problem. It is a problem that affects about 13 million people in the United States.

The causes for incontinence are different for men than they are for women. A popular misconception is that incontinence results only from the aging process. This simply isn't true.

"Incontinence is very common in women and occurs as a result of aging and relaxation of the pelvic muscles. Pregnancies with large weight gain, difficult deliveries and obesity will hasten its onset and increase its severity," says Dr. Steven K. Wilson, clinical professor of urology at the University of Arkansas.

"In men, it is typically a result of pelvic surgery, particularly cancer surgery," says Dr. Wilson. "Bladder, prostate and colon surgery can all be complicated by the development of male incontinence." According to Dr. Wilson, male incontinence can be cured by minimally invasive urinary sphincter implantation.

It's important to note that incontinence is usually a symptom of an underlying disorder and a sign that something is wrong. The worst thing you can do is ignore it and not consult a physician.

Whatever the cause may be, incontinence is often difficult to talk about. Unfortunately, many people suffer in silence or restrict their previously active lifestyles to avoid embarrassing situations. However, this isolation and inactivity can lead to depression and increased isolation.

Dr. Wilson urges people who are suffering from incontinence to see a urologist. "Most of the time, the urologist can diagnose the problem in his office with some simple tests and fix both sexes with a day surgical procedure," says Dr. Wilson.

A Man's Man Using Absorbent Undergarments?
Dick Howe, former president of Pennzoil, suffered from mild-to-moderate incontinence as a result of prostate cancer surgery. With all the stereotypes that coincide with motor oil, fast cars and octane, one would think Howe's masculinity would keep him silent. But Howe, an engineer by trade, met this condition head on.

Instead of regarding this condition as a problem, he looked at it as a personal challenge. Because he traveled on business and wanted to be an active part of his grandchildren's lives, Howe could not simply stay home and avoid social or business functions. Initially, he purchased extra absorbency pads, but eventually was able to use absorbent jockey shorts.

"This helped a lot because it reduced the bulk," says Howe. "I still use pads if I am going to be drinking alcohol or participating in an occasion where it would be difficult to use the bathroom frequently."

The ability to wear the less absorbent jockey shorts with confidence came in part because Howe is learning to cope with incontinence. He avoids caffeine and limits alcohol. Urinating on schedule rather than on demand also helps.

Eventually Howe underwent surgery to have a sphincter implanted and no longer uses absorbent undergarments. His new wife, Desiree, was a vital support to Howe. The delicate subject matter of incontinence didn't bother her, she says.

"I focused on what is valuable in life," says Desiree. "Having continence was way down the list of the characteristics I sought in a man. Integrity, compassion, intelligence, humor and courage were some of Dick's qualities, all of which were high on my checklist."

In fact, her desire to know more about prostrate cancer and help other people in the same situation led her to write a book, His Prostate and Me: A Couple Deals With Prostate Cancer (Winedale, 2002), which gives practical information about prostate cancer and helpful ways of dealing with incontinence and other side effects of the cancer.

Managing Incontinence
Whether you are waiting for corrective surgery or have an irreversible case of incontinence, management techniques will help you maintain the active lifestyle you enjoy.

Wear Easy-to-remove Clothing
Clothing with elastic waists, wrap-around styles and Velcro fasteners are easier to take off than garments with time-consuming zippers and buttons. Loose pants free of belts, suspenders or other cumbersome accessories may also be beneficial.

Use Absorbent Products
Absorbent undergarments soak up and hold urine and make maintaining hygiene easy. Although some people may purchase sanitary pads in lieu of absorbent products, sanitary pads are not made to absorb urine.

Absorbent products are dependable and will give you a worry-free day when used properly. Absorbent pads and undergarments should be changed frequently to avoid odors and rashes. Howe recommends that pads be disposed of by tying them in a knot with the urine-saturated side inward.

Since there are many different styles of absorbent products from which to choose, including ones specifically made for males or females, choosing one for your specific need is key to regaining confidence to participate in social functions. Absorbent shields and pads are designed to be worn inside underwear. These products are ideal for minor cases of incontinence. Absorbent undergarments are used for more frequent or for major cases of incontinence. Available in disposable and reusable form, these are usually no more bulky than everyday underwear. Make sure they fit comfortably yet firmly around the legs.

When you chose an absorbent product, consider the absorbency protection you will need and how long it will protect you. Is the product comfortable? Does the product make noise when you move? Is the product easy to change and dispose of? After some trials, you'll soon know which type is for you. Some companies, such as Kimberly-Clarke, maker of Depend Protective Underwear, offer free samples. Learn more by visiting www.depend.com/depend_free_sample/.

Want to see more?

• Fecal Incontinence After Pregnancy
• The Art of a Kegel
• Active Living: Managing Urinary Incontinence
• Talk about it!