Going over the river and through the woods to visit Grandma's house has taken on a new meaning. The increased number of geographically distant families means long-distance relationships for many grandparents and grandchildren.

Disheartening as it may seem to live far apart, the role of a grandparent is still important in a child's life. "Extraordinary outcomes occur when families recognize that the significance of the grandchild/grandparent relationship is more than a biological one," says Jane Terry, manager of Focus Over Fifty.

Love Builds a Bridge
Children crave stability and security. Even grandparents living far away can provide this for their grandchildren. "We need to be involved in our grandchildren's lives and lift them up in constant prayer, encouragement and companionship,” says Terry. “We need to openly share our life experiences with them and never talk at them or down to them."

Sharing your hobbies and family history and being a good listener can bridge the miles between you. Loma Silcott, of Rapid City, S.D., and her husband have 11 grandchildren scattered across the Midwest. Yet the miles that separate them don't deter them from enjoying a close relationship with their grandchildren. "Grandparenting can be very important because the grandparent often is able to give the child experiences that the parents either don't have the time or money to do," says Silcott. "This can include trips, needed medical treatment and more."

Despite earnest efforts by grandparents, some grandchildren will show a lack of interest. "Many times grandparents take even the smallest bit of disinterest from their grandchildren as a signal that they aren't loved or something awful is wrong," says Terry.

However, the opposite is probably true. Depending upon your grandchild's age, letter correspondence and phone calls may require the assistance of an adult. Perhaps the parents are busy and unable to help their child write a letter or make a phone call. Also, children are exceptionally busy. "We helped produce a generation of ultra-busy and preoccupied adults, and now that they are parents, our grandkids are following suit," says Terry.

Terry suggests talking to the parents if you feel like you're losing touch. "We cannot get our total affirmation via our grandchildren," says Terry. "If we are hurt by what we view as relationship neglect, we should attempt to talk with our adult children about it rather than making our grandchildren feel guilty."

It's a safe bet that your grandchildren enjoy the letters, phone calls and gifts in the mail, even if you don't hear back from them right away. Keep trying and remain consistent.

Visiting and Vacationing
Before you book a flight or pack up the car, consider your schedule and your grandchild's schedule, suggests Amy Goyer, coordinator of the AARP Grandparent Information Center. "Determine whether it is more practical for you to visit your grandchildren or for them to visit you," says Goyer.

Summer sports and camps are in high swing during the summer months, so a holiday or spring break during the year may be more suitable. If your budget allows, send travel money for them to visit you.

Goyer offers the following tips for planning a vacation with the grandkids:

• Ask about the things your grandchildren are studying in school. Plan a trip with them to see some of the places they may have heard about or studied.
• Do they know where you were born? Show them the town where you grew up.
• Spend time taking pictures and create a scrapbook together.
• Spend one-on-one time with each child.

Keeping in Touch
"Telephone calls are great fun any time of year," says Silcott. "If you can arrange to make some of the calls shortly after special events your grandchildren have participated in, you will be able to share the excitement."

Silcott offers these additional tips for staying in touch:

• Videotape your grandchildren's favorite stories. If possible, have someone else record you and your spouse, especially on birthdays or other special occasions.
• Bake and send their favorite cookies. Include the recipe, and videotape yourself making the cookies for a personal cooking lesson.
• For a far-away grandchild's birthday, buy party hats, favors, balloons, etc. and send them to the grandchild to use at their party.
• Create a video family history using old slides and pictures. Narrate it or just set it to music. Or create a scrapbook with copies made from the original pictures.
• Watch a television show or rented movie "together." For instance, at Christmas, plan to watch It's a Wonderful Life and share your thoughts via a phone call, letter or e-mail.
• Have a prearranged time on New Year's Eve for you and your children and grandchildren to each light a candle and make a special wish for the coming year.
• Make up a quiz about you and your spouse. It can be a fun way for your grandchildren to get to know you better.
• Create mementos from a hobby you enjoy. A birdhouse, jewelry box, quilt or holiday ornament made specifically for the child will be treasured for years to come.

Want to see more?

• Planting the Seed: Growing Memories With Grandkids
• From Grandma With Love: A Legacy of Values
• Homemade Fun: Games to Make – Then Play – With Your Grandchild
• Talk about it!